Contagious
by SomeoneOnThisWorld
Summary: Not all high school relationships last forever, and Dean was just one of the unlucky ones. But after almost a year of feeling nothing but pain and emptiness, Dean decides to drive across the continent to get back his Cas. Sequel to my recently finished story Animals :) rated T, but there's cursing and it may change for the worse in time.
1. Chapter 1

"Heavenly Father," Michael Novak started his usual Christmas prayer, closing his eyes, momentarily blinding himself from the dinner table and the entire family of Novaks and Freely's sitting around it. "We thank you for the safe journey that family and friends have made to this dinner table tonight. Thank you for this beautiful family that does not even end in blood, and thank you for getting us past our struggles and making it ... mostly funtional again."

His girlfriend Lucy, who was sitting next to him, squeezed his hand as a silent warning.

"But above all," Michael continued after a brief pause, "thank you for Jesus Christ, whose birth we are celebrating today, and whose existance itself brought serenity and peace among humans, even if for a limited period of time. We are all aware he died for our sins, and for that may his soul rest in Heaven ..."

Castiel Novak shifted his weight in his seat, as he impatiently waited for the prayer to be over. He knew his brother and Christian holidays were usually his time to shine, which meant the dinner could have as well be served cold, since it definitely would be by the time he finished.

There were a few more sentences about the gracious Jesus, and then a few words about Mary, but Michael made a mistake by making another slight pause before moving on to Joseph.

"And please, dear Lord, let this prayer be over before the chicken gets cold," Gabriel cut in, likely to be reading Castiel's mind – or both of them just knew his brother all too well. "Amen."

Everyone at the table chuckled and repeated the amen. Castiel opened his eyes and saw one of his older brothers grinning proudly and the other frowning at him. Balthazar tried to muffle his laughter his his fist, and his parents were smiling lightly as well.

"Don't be so rude to your brother, Gabriel," Lucy scolded Gabriel playfuly, her hand still wrapped around Michael's instead of letting it go like the others had. She wore a amused smile on her face, though, and she winked at Gabriel as she said it.

"Sorry, mom," Gabriel chuckled back. He had taken a liking in calling her that, much to her annoyance since she was barely older than him, but she accepted it if that meant he counted her as a part of the family.

"God don't apologize, we were all bored anyways," Lucy laughed. When Michael looked at her with another frown of betrayal, she simply leaned in and kissed him on his lips. "Sorry, hun, but you really shouldn't bring your job home for Christmas."

Castiel laughed out loud when Michael smiled fondly and apologized to her.

"Well, we forgot thanking the Lord for Lucy pulling the stick out of Michael's ass," he said, raising his water glass in salute, and Gabriel gladly followed his example.

"I'll drink to that!" he laughed, touching Castiel's glass with the edge of his own.

"Language, Castiel," Michael warned, but there was a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Besides, I can't say I'm the one who likes getting anything inside of my backside."

"Neither do I, brother dear," Castiel winked. "Neither. Do. I."

Michael snorted with laughter and shook his head. It was weird seeing him laughing that much – not to mention joining in with jokes like that. Castiel silently thanked God for Lucy again. She really had changed him.

"Alrighty, enough with the sexual innuendos during Christmas dinner," Balthazar said. "I already have trouble looking at the bottom of the chicken."

And so the dinner started. There was laughter accompanying Gabriel's and Balthazar's adventures at college and even Castiel mustered up a few enterntaining stories about his newest friends. However, when Mrs Freely asked about college romances, he wisely remained quiet as Gabriel mentioned a girl named Kali (with much more fondness than usually when he described his conquests, Castiel noted) and Balthazar seemed pretty whipped by a girl that he met at a hospital when he was manly surviving through a broken finger (that was a story even Gabriel and Balthazar thought was too inappropriate for a Christmas dinner) and she was on her way to get rid of the last physical bit of manliness there was left on her ("Her dick," Balthazar put it bluntly. "She was getting rid of her dick.").

Sooner than ever, the dinner was over and the Freely family left the Novaks to their peace. The brothers retired to the living room with Lucy, each carrying a cup of what Gabriel called hot chocolate, but was really melted chocolate, bits of carameled sugar, marshmallows and whipped cream.

"Okay, Castiel," Lucy turned to the youngest brother with a determinded expression on her face. Short blonde strands of her pixie haircut shook with the sudden movement of her head. "You have some explaining to do, young man."

"Please don't talk as if you're not four years older than me," Castiel smirked and used his teaspoon to eat some of the whipped cream. Lucy frowned. "What can I do for you, possible sister-in-law?"

He glanced over at Michael as he said it, satisfied with the way it made him blush.

"You were oddly quiet on the topic of romantic partners earlier," Lucy said. "I need to know what that was about."

Castiel's smile was gone instantly and he looked down at his diabetes drink. Flashes of a wide grin and shinning green eyes recovered from the back of his mind and he did his best to push them back. There was no time for unpleasant memories.

"That's becuase I'm single," he managed to say with a forced smile as he looked back up at her again. "And I'm not really looking yet."

* * *

"Guys! Dinner!" Dean Winchester yelled from the kitchen as he was taking out his latest masterpiece – a perfectly perfect perfection of a stuffed chicken with baked potatoes and veggies on the side. He wasn't the one to brag, but that chicken, delicately named Garth, could be on some giant poster in Walmart or on some boring Christmas TV commercial.

Either way, it was going to be a pleasure to eat it.

"Hm, smells nice," John coplimented as he stepped in the kitchen, carrying a bottle of beer. His best friend Bobby Singer, Sam and Dean's unofficial uncle, followed him and nodded in approval.

"You've really outdone yourself tonight, boy," he said as he sat down in his seat, just in time to make room for Sam, who ran past him to his seat. "I'm glad you're cooking again."

"Yeah, it's been a while, hasn't it?" Dean laughed and placed Garth on the table. He sat down and bit his tounge so he wouldn't suggest that they prayed before dinner (a habit he picked up on last year) and picked up a knife to cut into his beautiful chicken.

"It's been exactly eight months, Dean," John deadpanned. Dean bit his lip and forced himself not to think about the awful eight months behind him and that one awful day when it all went to hell.

"Does that mean you're finally doing better?" Sam asked. His question carried a double meaning, Dean knew. So he forced a big smile on his face and hoped it looked sincere.

"Hell, yeah! I'm back to good ol' me," He said and place the first slice of chicken on Sam's plate. "New year and new beginings or whatever, right?"

* * *

Except that it wasn't. Not a new begining in the least.

Because Dean still found himself at Michael Novak's mass the next Sunday. And his eyes still miserably roamed the seats to find the familiar wild jet black hairstyle that stood out. And he still got the preacher's sympathetic glance more than three times.

And Castiel still wasn't there.

He only vaguely listened to Michael as he twirled his phone between his fingers, like he always did. He didn't know what he was expecting from it, really – a text from his ex boyfriend? Please, enough time had passed for him to know that would never happen. Not again, anyways.

So Dean was miserable. So, what? Who wouldn't be, when he let the best person in the world slip from his fingers.

But he was one of the unlucky ones. Much like Becky Rosen and Chuck Shurley, who broke up during the summer after high school, and like Benny and Andrea, who broke up not long before he and Cas did.

Cas.

Dean was pathetic, that much he knew (he was at Castiel's older brother's mass, for God's sake!), but he still couldn't believe how much he missed that gummy smile and those beautiful eyes and how sexy he looked when he smirked just before the clothes came off.

Sure, it was pretty physical between them, there was no denying it, but every idiot could see something more. Hell, he fucked himself through enough people in high school to be able to tell the difference between casual sex and what he and Cas had.

He felt an aching pain in his chest – the pain that always accompanied the sweetest memories of his life when he took time to think about them. Which was all the time. Eighteen hours a day, and six hours at night, when the bastard found his way into his dreams.

Dean shifted in his seat, silently hoping for the mass to be over. He really didn't knwo why he still bothered to come. Did he expect to see Cas? He was probably on a plane halfway back to his fancy college in fancy fucking California. If even even came home for the holidays to see his family, that is. He was sure as hell he wouldn't even come close if he decided to do it for Dean.

Plane.

It all started with a damn plane.

God, Dean was so stupid.

* * *

 _"You are being unreasonable, Dean."_

 _"Hey, I'm not backing off here," Dean protested widely. "Birds and are meant to fly. A fucking dragon is meant to fly, for all I care! Not a man. In a closed up aerodynamic box. Full of other people. Where only two of them actually know what they are doing and there is no escape for the others if they fuck up."_

 _"Well, how do you plan on visiting me, then?" Castiel asked. "With your precious car?"_

 _"Damn straight!" Dean nodded. "Baby and I can even drive you there if you want."_

 _"No thanks," Castiel said. "I think I'll take my chances with the plane."_

 _"And what? A goodbye kiss at the airport? Like some cheesy chick-flick?" Dean asked._

 _"I told you many times, Dean," Castiel sighed. "You can come with me to California until the rest of the summer, but ..."_

 _"I'd have to be flying," Dean chuckled. "No thanks. I'll pass."_

 _Castiel rolled his eyes._

 _"Fine," he said. "Then you have exactly one month left with me. After that – Skype calls until your break."_

 _"Or you could just stay here," Dean said. "You got accepted to college here, too. I'm sure Michael, and me, would prefer if you stayed."_

 _"Wow," Castiel said. "You know, he said the exact same thing. I'm really starting to wonder when did you two become buddies."_

 _"Maybe when you decided to leave us behind like some toys you're done playing with!" Dean grew frustrated. He knew he didn't mean a damn thing, but he wasn't going to let Castiel just win this argument. He was actually very proud that his Cas got accepted to Berkley, but he also knew that he was going to miss him. And long distance relationships sucked._

 _Castiel's eyes widened with hurt._

 _"That's what you think you are to me?" he asked quietly. "Just some toy?"_

 _No no no no no. Dean stood up from where he was sitting stepping closer to his boyfriend._

 _"I didn't mean it like that, Cas," he said, but as soon as he got close enough to reach for him, Castiel moved away._

 _"You know," Castiel said and looked away – anywhere but him. "Suddenly this past year looks very different from my point of view."_

 _"Come on, Cas, don't ..." What was it that he tried to say in that moment? Don't turn my words around? Don't take it the wrong way?_

 _Don't leave?_

 _Well, Cas did just that._

 _"No, Dean, I'm getting pretty sick of your bullshit. I'm done," he said just before he started walking away, and it was as good of a break up line as any. At least he didn't actually say the words. "Who knows, maybe I'll find another toy to play with in California."_

* * *

"Amen."

As always, Michael Novak jolted him out of his thoughts once he ended the mass. Dean mumbled the repetition of the word along with everyone else, and stood up to walk out. His mind was set on simply escaping this hell he put himself through and made a beeline towards the exit, but he was, as usual, blocked by other people – people who actually went to church because of their religion, not because they were still heartbroken becuase of the preacher's younger brother.

Once he made his way out, he walked towards the Impala, determinded to just get home and mope around all day, when suddenly two arms appeared out of nowhere and hooked themselves around Dean's.

"Well, what do we have here," a very familiar British accent spoke up from his left.

"Balthazar," Dean greeted with a tired frown. He looked to his right and recognized another person he dreadfully wanted to avoid. "And Gabriel. Of course."

"Nice to see you, too, Dean-o," Gabriel grinned. "I can't believe it, we haven't seen you in forever. Let's go get a drink and celebrate."

"Not really in a celebrating mood right now, guys," Dean said. Especially with my ex boyfriend's brother and best friend, he added in his head.

"Oh, come on, Dean!" Gabriel whined. "The boys are back in town! We're thinking about even throwing a badass New Year's party, to which you're invited, of course."

"Thanks," Dean said and extracted his arms from the other men's death grip – or what they probably thought it was, anyways. "But no thanks, fellas. I have stuff to do ..."

"And Cas to avoid," Balthazar rolled his eyes. "Are you still moping around because of that?"

"None of your business," Dean mumbled and pulled the keys out of his car when they got close to it. He didn't have to look at the dynamic duo to know they were gaping at his back. He unlocked the door of his car, but before he could say another thing, Gabriel and Balthazar were by the car as well.

"Oh. You are."

"We're definitely getting a drink then," Gabriel concluded and yelled, "Shotgun!" before sliding into the passenger seat. Balthazar frowned, but followed his example and sat down in the backseat. Dean rolled his eyes, cursing every god there was out there that could have been responsible for making them find him in the first place, and opened the door of the car, seating behind the wheel, and cut off the argument of why did Gabriel always get to be in the front seat by starting the engine.

"So," Gabriel said and popped a Skittle into his mouth. Castiel had told him once he spent around half a minute eating one and damn it, he really couldn't catch a break from thoughts of him. "You still into Cassie, huh?"

"And you're still not minding your own business," Dean huffed. "Where do you want to go?"

"We have some alcohol stashed just out of town," Balthazar said. "Looks like you need it."

"Nope," Dean said quickly. "No alcohol. I'm not gonna blabber everything out to you two."

"Why not? We're not going to see Cas for another few months, so you might as well tell us," Gabriel said.

"Oh? He didn't come home over the break?"

"He did. And left yesterday," Gabriel shrugged. "Didn't want to run into you, I guess."

"Gee, thanks," Dean frowned, although he knew it was most probably the truth. "It's not like I want to see him."

"Yes, you do," Gabriel and Balthazar replied at the same time and Gabriel popped another Skittles in his mouth.

"No, I actually don't," Dean said. "I'm about as done with him as he is with me."

"And that's why you come to church every Sunday like a good boy?" Balthazar asked. "Michael told us to talk to you. He can see you look like a kicked puppy over there."

"Did it occur to him that maybe I like going to church?" Dean asked. What a load of bull, he heard his conscious say. "It's ... peaceful."

Gabriel barked out a loud laugh.

"Oh, that's a good one. Redeeming your high school sins?" he asked. "Tell me, what saint do you pray to? Achrangel Castiel?"

Pained features washed over Dean's face. He tried to mask them, but Gabriel was still quick to catch them. His face softened with sympathy.

"Sorry, that one was off," he apologizd immediately. "He misses you too, you know?"

"Oh yeah, I'm sure he does," Dean said, and instead of turning left he decided to go forward, towards the Novak house. He didn't want to listen to this anymore than he had to. "Probably has some new boyfriend's shoulder to cry on, too?"

"Of course not," Balthazar piped in. "He's just as miserable as you are. Why do you think he left early? Because every single thing about his own house reminds him of you."

"Well, that sure is convinient," Dean laughed bitterly. "He can escape every thought of his shitty ex by buying a freking ticket to California. That's neat, it really is. At least he doesn't have to live here, and walk down every street we used to walk down on when we went on a date, and drive around in the car where we first kissed! Poor guy, I really feel his pain."

Tears started gathering in his eyes as the unwelcome memories broke loose in his mind again. Even Gabriel and Balthazar remained quiet for the rest of the ride, until the car stopped in front of Gabriel's house. Gabriel's, not Castiel's. It was just another place Dean didn't want to link directly to him.

"Just ..." Gabriel started and paused in consideration of what to say next. "Just know that he does. Miss you, I mean. And wants you back, most probably. It never took him this long to get over someone, so I'm pretty sure he didn't even get to the face of trying to forget you."

"Get out of my car Gabriel," Dean growled. He didn't need to listen to these ... lies. That's what they were. Lies.

"Not until you hear this," Gabriel remained stubborn. "Consider this – he doesn't want to home again because he's afraid he'll see you. And if that happens, he will fall in love with you all over again and won't be able to walk away from you. And you're hurting about as much as he is – only that you hope to see him again rather than going on without him for the rest of your life. So, I'm suggesting this: take some time off work at that messy garage of yours, fill this baby with gas, drive to California and fix the mess you idiots made."

Dean blinked at him with raised eyebrows.

"Sorry, what?"

"You heard me."

"Yes, and I'm seriously considering all that partying is finally starting to affect your brain cells," Dean huffed out a laugh. "Are you out of your mind? You want me to drive across country to get to the guy who may or may not take me back? What do you think will happen? I'll show up at Castiel's door and he'll fall into my arms? Please, he'll more likely tell me to fuck off and get a restraining order against me. I know I'm pathetic, but I'm not that pathetic."

Gabriel sighed and both he and Balthazar left the car. Before he closed his door, however, he stuck his head back in.

"You're allowed to at least try ebing happy once in a while, you know? Please, just think about it."


	2. Chapter 2

Dean thought about it.

He thought about driving to California on New Year's eve, when he faked being sick so he wouldn't have to be in the same living room where Castiel showed him a whole new meaning of kissing someone at midnight. He thought about it through the entire Janurary and entire February. He was pretty sure he would be thinking about it through the entirety of March, too, but people were starting to notice.

"What's on your mind, chief?" Benny asked him at the garage on a sunny day that was third of March. Dean had been leaning over the hood of a blue Ford, not really sure what the problem was or what he should be doing to fix it, since everything on his mind was (surprise, surprise) Cas. He raised his head and grinned at Benny.

"Nothing much," he tried to cover up his stupid heartbreak with a steady voice. "Just, you know, thinking. Nothing important."

"Mhm," Benny nodded and leaned on the car door. "And what's got you thinking so hard that you're trying to fix the engine of the car that only needs new tires?"

Dean glanced down and sure enough, there were two flat tires on the left side of the car. _God damn it._

"So, call me crazy, but I'm guessing there is something important swimming around that noodle of yours," Benny said with a knowing smirk. Dean blushed and closed the hood before leaning his body on the side of the car next to Benny.

"Can you help me with something?" he asked, chewing his lip.

"I believe that's one of the main jobs I have for being your friend."

Dean chuckled and shook his head, but really he felt like crying. It was an awful feeling, but it happened every time he tried to pull a smile nowadays.

"I saw Gabriel and Balthazar just after Christmas," he said and watched as Benny nodded knowingly. "They said some things that put me up for wishful thinking, but I'm not sure if it's worth the risk."

"This is about Cas, isn't it?"

Dean expected that question, but it still hit him like a ton of bricks. He bit his lip again and nodded.

"They said he, uh, still misses me. It's probably a load of bullshit," he said, trying not to meet Benny's eyes. He knew his best friend could see just how much Dean hoped that little fact would be true. "And Gabriel, the dumbass that he is, suggested I drive to California and try to get him back."

Benny nodded again, piercing blue eyes scanning Dean's face.

"And you're thinking of going." It wasn't much of a question.

"No, I'm stubbronly trying o talk myself out of it. Hopeful optimist I am, I'm probably gonna get my hreat shattered all over again. And I don't need it," Dean said. He pushed himself off the car and walked towards the stack of tires. Unfortunately, Benny followed him.

"Damn it, Dean," he sighed. "Why don't you let yourself be happy?"

Dean laughed, loudly and bitterly.

"Well, it didn't exactly work out well the last time around if you don't remember," he said and picked up two tires.

"Yeah, and that was because you were going through some kind of a pms," Benny said. "Brother, I can't remember if I ever saw you smiling as widely as you did when Cas was under your arm."

"Please, don't remind me," Dean groaned, feeling like he was going to cry. "Please, just don't."

"Sorry," Benny said, his voice becoming much more soothing in an instant. "But you should realize you're not the only one who was hurt. I'm still in touch with Meg, you know. Apparently he's a walking shadow of the sarcastic son of a gun he was in high school."

Dean kneeled down at the side of the car and started removing one of the flat tires.

"Yeah, well, you can't know for sure, can you?" Dean said. "Gabe told me he even went back as soon as Christmas was over, so he didn't have to run into me or something. I'm sorry if that makes me a bit cynical about the whole thing."

"Dean," Benny sighed. "Stand up. Look at me."

Though he didn't want to, Dean complied.

"Do you still love Cas?"

"Dude ..."

"Do you?"

"I ..." Dean bit the inside of his cheek and looked down. "I don't know if it's possible to stop."

"And do you want to ever see him again?"

"God, Benny," Dean groaned again and rubbed a hand over his face. "You know I fucking do."

"And are you willing to swallow your pride and apologize for that idiotic fight of yours?"

"Hey, that was a completely rational ..."

"Not listening."

"Fine." Dean sighed and looked back at Benny. "I'm willing to apologize. I was out of line, anyways."

"Good." Benny smiled. "Then you are all set. What are you so afraid of?"

Dean didn't know. Well, of course there was that twisted fear in his gut that Castiel would just slam the door in his face. And that he wouldn't listen. And that he would take him back.

But, damn it, how he wanted to see those eyes again. Even if for a second.

"Hey, Bobby!" he yelled out, making Beny smile widely.

"Yeah?"

"Can I take the next week off? I think I'd like to go on a vacation!"


	3. Chapter 3

25 hours.

Plus the pit stops.

Plus the few hours he knew he had to spend for sleep.

That was a total of 32 hours if he was being optimistic. Dean groaned internally.

 _Why did Cas had to move so far away?_ he asked himself for the hundreth time as he threw his duffel bag in the trunk. He closed it and turned to Sam, Bobby, John and Benny, who were all looking like he was going off to war.

"Please stop pulling that face," Dean rolled his eyes. "I'll be gone for a week, tops. Maybe two if it turns out to be successful."

He visibly cringed at his own choice of words. _Don't be too hopeful, Winchester._

Sam stepped forward and hugged him.

"I'll miss you," he said.

"Geez, you're talking as if you'll never see me again, Sammy," Dean said, but inspite of his complaining he dragged the hug on for a while longer.

"It will be the longest I've ever been without you," Sam shrugged, pulling away. "You can't blame me for being a little attached."

"Clingy is the word for it," Dean smirked and ruffled Sam's hair, which was growing longer and longer with each passing month, while he was trying to pretend that reminder didn't hit him in the gut. "You better get a haircut before I get back."

"Never," Sam smiled. "Ruby likes it."

"Ruby is a demon," Dean claimed seriously. The dark-haired girl Sam had befriended upon starting high school wasn't that bad, just a bit shady. And she seemed to hate Dean for some reason.

"Only because you slept with her sister and told her you didn't do relationships." Sam gave him a pointed look. "Only to find yourself in one a week later."

Correction – she hated Dean for sleeping with her sister and lying about not being looking for a relationship.

"Well, at least now I know why," Dean smiled sheepishly adn turned to John, Bobby and Benny. "Wish me luck."

"Just don't screw up again," John said. "God knows you might."

"Thanks, dad. That's really motivational."

"Just sayin'."

Bobby grumbled a short "safe trip" and Benny told him to go and get Cas already and to say hi to Meg if he sees her.

Dean tried not to dwell on sentiments (mostly because he knew he would cry in front of them if he did, and Dean Winchester never cried), so he ended up pulling out of his driveway before even realizing he said his last goodbyes. He put on some Led Zeppelin and glanced at the fancy GPS John insisted on installing before he left. He spent one entire afternoon learing how to turn that demonic voice off, but otherwise he had to admit it was better than a map when he was travelling alone.

He set out on the road, watching Lawrence disappearing in his rearview mirror before the first song was even finished. He couldn't help wodnering how Castiel drove off – well, flew off. He knew for a fact he left by plane. He saw the tickets before they were even broken up. But still ... did he look behind? Did he wish, only a little, that he didn't have to go? Did he think of people he was leaving behind?

Or did he only stare forward, glad he was finally getting out of that damned town?

Dean's heart clutched at the idea. He could imagine Castiel looking out of the plane's window wistfully as well as shutting the world out with his headphones and the sleeping mask Gabriel bought him as a farewell gift. It said "Thanks for the sex, now get lost" and Castiel loved it, being the sleep enthusiast that he was.

* * *

 _"Gabriel, you are an idiot," Castiel laughed, taking the sleeping mask on. He read the blue writing and laughed even harder. He showed it to his boyfriend. "Look, Dean, I finally won't have to say it out loud."_

 _"Oh, wow, Cas," Dean rolled his eyes, but grinned widely all the same. "Way to chase away your cuddle pillow."_

 _"I don't cuddle, Dean," Castiel said with a light blush._

 _"You so do."_

 _"No, I don't."_

 _"Wanna have sex and find out?"_

 _"No," Michael cut in, glaring at the pair – at Dean, to be precise. "No one is deflowering my brother simply for the sake of a sleeping mask."_

 _"Don't worry, Michael, I'm not planning on doing so. Scouts honor," Dean said and placed his hand over his heart to emphasize his point. Once Michael looked away, however, he looked at Cas with a meaningful glance and a secretive wink, making his boyfriend snort with laughter._

* * *

 _Boyfriend._

Damn, how he hated that word. And the memories of Cas ... he hated those, too. No matter how sweet or funny or sexy they were, they made that hole in his heart even bigger and each hurt a great deal more than the first.

Maybe that was what that trip was. One big call for help. Complete and utter desperation. Perhaps he should stop by in any city on the way, hook up with the first hot person in the first bar he visits, spend a week there and come back home empty handed, pretending and lying that at least he tried.

He didn't do any of that, though. Cas's name was heavy in the back of his mind, fueling him with hope, and he drove past every exit on the way.

 _I can do this_ , he kept on telling himself. _I can try._

* * *

"AND IIIIIIIII WILL LOOOOVE YOUU, BAABYYYY, AAAAAALWAAYS!"

Pathetic.

It was the only word that crossed his mind other than Bon Jovi lyrics for the past three hours. He was absolutely pathetic.

Whatever.

No shame.

"AND IIIIII'LL BE THEEEERE FOREEEEVER AAND A DAAAY – AAAAAALWAAAYS!"

He was singing out of tune – very out of tune. He knew that very well. The best way to relax was to sing without caring for correctness. Castiel always pretended to hate it, but if not for anything else, at least Dean always saw that sweet loving smile of his when he tried to stop Dean from making him feel second hand embarrassment.

* * *

 _"Dean, please" Cas pleaded, trying to hide his laughter as Dean yelled out the lyrics of Ramble On on the top of his lungs._

 _"Come on Cas, just RAMBLE ON," Dean sang, or rather screamed in a high voice. He was positively butchering his favorite song, but it made Cas smile and that made Dean happy._

 _"Dean," Cas said again, not even trying to hide his amusement anymore. "You are something else."_

 _"Yeah, but good something, right?" Dean asked, a cocky grin exposing his pearly whites._

 _"Yeah," Cas said with complete sincerity. "The best."_

* * *

He never did sing with him. Not really. Even if Dean managed to convince him, Castiel ended up doubling over with laughter when Dean started screaming again.

God, how he missed it. Having someone by his side, making fun of cheesy love ballads ( _"No, Cas, Stairway To Heaven certainly isn't cheesy. Don't you dare insult the best band ever to exist"_ ), screaming all of the best rock songs on the top of his lungs, and sometimes even letting Cas show him his favorite punk songs and explaining with passion in his eyes why he loved them. Different genres, same love.

And now? Now Dean was stuck with Bon Jovi and sadness.

He sighed. 21 more hours of road to go.

He didn't feel like singing that much anymore.

 _And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind – and I'll love you. Always._


End file.
